WHERE ARE THE PICS?!

First off, I would like to point out the irony that this post will be totally picture free. This really is just a post to address an issue that, quite frankly, annoys the crap out of me. Of course, this requires scenarios.

Scenario 1: Boy meets Girl, Boy and Girl fall in love. Boy gives Girl shiny rock. Girl gives emphatic and possibly weepy one syllable answer. Lots of planning later, they are standing in a religious location/outdoor venue/whatever romantic place that floats their boat, in a rented tux and long white dress. Friend (being me) gets on their facebook that night to wish them a hearty, long distance congrats and what do I see?! Posts made a few hours earlier that say "congrats, WHERE ARE THE PICS?!" yes. Because that just says I care about you. I love you so much and I am so happy for you that I am going to pressure you to allow me to vicariously live through your special day. Touching sentiment, really. Inside Im thinking something like this: "Where are the pics?! Good grief! They are in the beginnings of their wedding night, and Im fairly confident in the fact that while they are in those first passionate throes of married life, they are gazing at one another and secretly thinking 'Gee, I really ought to update my facebook relationship status and post pictures that are really grainy because they are from my cell phone because the photographer hasn't even had a chance to start editing our professional ones yet. How selfish of me to be here on my wedding night instead of telling all my closest buddies and 90 strangers all about my wedding day!'" Im pretty certain thats what I would be thinking anyway.


Scenario 2: About a year after Boy and Girl have that special wedding, Boy announces that at 9:53, Girl birthed a healthy Baby. He may give stats, weight, length, name... etc. But, as a proud new papa, he is far too busy loving on his wonderful Girl and his sweet new Baby. He announces it on facebook as a courtesy and as his way of shouting to the world that He and his Girl are the happiest new parents ever! I head over to offer my congrats to the parents when yet again I see 'congrats. WHERE ARE THE PICS?!' Now my thoughts are "WHAT IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Jeeze, Girl just pushed another human into the world, she is dog tired and sore and as a new mom, probably thrilled to all get out that her Baby is healthy. Boy was with his Girl through the whole thing, holding her hand through every painful contraction and sitting in tense worry that everything goes alright. He is probably so grateful that his Girl and Baby are alright that he barely has time to phone the family before he is plastered back to their sides. Its not like they are sitting around thinking 'Gee, now that Ive successfully created life, let me just get on facebook and share all the gory pictures, videos and special moments with the world.'".

Have we, as members of this Instant Generation, with everything from instant oatmeal (because non instant is SOOO hard!) and instant messaging (because boring ol email is SO 1999!) become so addicted to instant gratification that we can't allow people to savor their first few moments as man and wife or as mother and father? You can justify that you are trying to share in their happiness, but really, wont you be just as happy with the beauty of their special moment when you see the pictures, whether in real time upload or 40 years down the road? I for one still get a kick out of the baby pictures my grandpa cherishes of his children. Or of the photo of my grandma in her wedding gown. I think I would rather be known as the friend who just wished a happy "congratulations!" on those days than to be known as the friend who harasses their way into getting the first glimpse of those personally sacred moments that frankly, do not have to be shared with the world. I guess that if my lack of documentation on those moments makes me a bad friend, fine. So be it. But you can rest assured, that when this Girl meets Boy, I will happily request that all photos of our wedding day respectfully wait a week to be posted. When we have kids, I may request even longer, I just dont know how I feel about my kids being online like that in the first place. And when that time comes, feel free to tell me how happy you are for me, and when they come, look at the pictures if you want..but please dont demand to see them. It is, after all, my right to share them in the first place.