Ok, Id like to dedicate this to all the jerks who have made these rules necessary. Read. Learn. and most importantly STOP. ASKING. ME. OUT!!! To the rest of you, enjoy, and if you know a decent guy who fits into these guidelines, well send him my way! :)
10. I will not date you if you are more than 8 years older than me. I will not date you if you are more than 18 months younger than me. This rule is flexible in that these are the farthest out that I will consider. Usually, I wont date anyone younger than me, period, so if you get the extension, feel special. If you are old enough to have dated my mom, grandma or great-grandma, you are AUTOMATICALLY able to qualify for CREEP, and I have every right to ignore you til Hell freezes over.
9. If you smoke, drink, chew, do drugs, have a rap sheet, no job and no education. I do not have to date you. Actually, your chances are VERY slim that I, or any other sane woman would date you either.
8. If I wanted to date a little boy, Id go for the ones in Sunbeams, they are cute, funny and loving. Since I dont want to date a little boy, Im therefore not all impressed by your video games, your matchbox car collection, or your 'mad skills' at Dungeons and Dragons. Should you dabble, thats alright, but if it consumes more than 10 hours a week, then I think I will pass. All I have to say is grow up Peter Pan, grow up!
7. If I say I dont like something, dont insist that I would with you. I will be WAY more impressed with a guy who listened to something I said then acted on it than I would be by some guy who thought that he could convert me to his way. Moral of the story: LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY AND RESPECT IT.
6. Personal hygiene is SO important! Having clean hair, a nice smelling cologne or even just the scent of soap and having fresh breath are super important. The average woman doesnt want to go on a date with someone who smells like the junior high boys locker room or a pig feedlot.
5. Dont criticize my clothes, car, music, friends, major or religion. I think differences are awesome, but when my opinions become 'less valid' than yours, I get a little touchy. If you dont like something I wear, gently tell me, but be prepared to back it up with real answers when I ask why. If you dont like my music, deal with it. I wont stop playing country in my car because you dont like it. I will turn it down, but Im not changing Dierks Bently for Brittney Spears. If you think that my major is pointless or a waste of time, maybe you should find out why I chose it. And if you think that I am a fool for the faith that I have, maybe you should find out why I believe that way before you knock me down.
4. Dont use cheap pick up lines or smutty insults to try to pick me up. Only tramps like being told they are good for the backseat and nothing else. I dont like being treated like some cheap one night stand, and I dont like pick up lines because they are generic. If you want to impress, try an honest compliment.
3. Treat me like Im something to cherish, but dont treat me like I am helpless. I am strong, capable and intelligent. I dont need someone who wont let me take chances, and who wants to coddle me. I need someone who will let me jump in and help, not someone who wraps me in bubble wrap. On that note, I am a lady, dont treat me like I am one of the boys all the time.
2. I expect a man who is my equal. I dont want a man who finds himself far more superior to me in intellect, spirituality, physically or any other way. I understand that equal does not mean identical, and I would LOVE a partner that has differences that allow me to learn and grow as a person, but I find it an immediate turn off to be referred to as a 'little woman' or to feel in anyway inferior and thus in need of a 'big, strong man'.
1. There is more to me than meets the eye. I like being referred to as beautiful (not hot!) but I love it more when you praise something more substantial that my bra size. Hearing things like 'Damn, that ass is nice, Id tap that.' is such an insult and it makes me consider calling the cops on you for harassment. Dont poke fun at my size, Im 5'2" Im not porcelain. Dont oogle me in public, that is only appropriate for married couples anyway. I catch you checking out my butt all the time and I get pissed, you talk to my chest, I want nothing more than to castrate you in front of all your friends. I have many great traits that are more long lasting than the physical ones, and I am far more flattered when you notice those and compliment me on them than I am when you compliment something that the gene pool dealt me.
I hate that I have to write a process of elimination for guys, but seriously, if you saw some of the guys that have been hitting me up you would totally understand. I promise that after this lovely little rant on what I DONT want, I will write a list of the top 10 things I do want in a guy. Promise!
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