Show of hands, WHO here has Minor Ado Annie Syndrome?!

First of, let me heartily extend to you all greetings from Powell, Wyoming! Its beautiful and I am loving it!


Now, Id like to get down to what I really want to talk about. Today, my post is on the word NO. But not used in just any context. I really want to talk about why girls have, to some degree, the Ado Annie Syndrome. In other words, why they cant say no. Most girls can say no to the easy stuff, like sex, drugs and alcohol. Ive even said 'no' many times to weird guys who thought that screaming at a girl over the phone is a fantastic marriage proposal. (Just to clarify, its NOT!) However, many girls, myself included, have been stuck in situations where you are uncomfortable with what is going on, but you feel like you have no other choice but to go along with it. Heres the truth ladies. You ALWAYS have a choice! Just because some guy asks you out, does not mean you have to go. Just because that nice guy you are on a date with decides to take things a little faster than you are comfortable with does not mean you have to shut up and go with it. If some gentleman decides to walk you home after a late class and tries to kiss you on the stoop and you dont want to kiss him, you ARE NOT obligated to kiss him. I think that many of us reason away those bad feelings we get, telling ourselves that we are being dramatic and that nothing will happen to us. Some may fear getting a reputation as a prude, so they kiss that guy or hold his hand, even though she isnt comfortable with it. Some may even say something like "Well, its been so long or that no one else will ask me out that I have to let him because he was nice enough to show interest in me." BULL CRAP! Ive been guilty of this so many times! Ive been on horrible first dates because I rationalized that because I have so scarce a dating life that I should be grateful for anything. Ive suffered through so many awkward conversations and situations because I didnt know how to get out of them without being a jerk. Ive feigned polite interest in guys that I was terrified of because I couldnt see a safe escape on my own. Women, WHY do we do this?! Why do we constantly put ourselves in situations where we are miserable like that? I can tell you that I really dont look for situations that turn into those stories for me to use to commiserate with my gal pals later on. I dont like being treated poorly or feeling trapped. I dont even like going on a date because I feel like its my only option. Now some girls do, and to them, I say: GET SOME THERAPY! To the rest of the women who feel or have ever felt like I have, I tell you this. It is ok to say no! That weird guy in your class asks you out and you dont want to go? Simply say "I appreciate your offer, but Im really not interested." Not only are you saving yourself from having to suffer through a Star Wars marathon, but you are also telling him loud and clear that you are not interested, thus freeing up his time for other ventures. Telling him "I have (Insert lame reason here), but maybe some other time?" tells him that you are interested in going out with him, but that you are tragically unavailable at the time he suggested, and he will continue to ask you out. Be nice, but be firm. It may be hard, and it may hurt his feelings a little, but he will appreciate the act later on. I know that many girls have heard growing up that you should never turn a guy down because he is someone elses future love and you wouldnt want to treat him badly just like you wouldnt want someone to treat your future love that way. (The Young Womens program has some tragic flaws, this being one of them) But I want you to think about a few things. One...That is the DUMBEST logic EVER! Two...Saying no to that guy gives him the opportunity to find a girl who WILL appreciate his ability to speak Klingon. Three...There is no guys feelings that are worth more than you feeling safe. Ask anyone who has ever been sexually assaulted, most of them will start with the words "I didnt think he was that kind of guy..." Dont put yourself in a place where you feel out of control or not safe. Dont go out with someone just because no one else will ask you, unless you WANT to be with that guy. One of the things I decided for myself when I came to Powell is that I would not go on another bad date that I KNEW was going to be a bad date. Its NOT worth it. (Granted, the girls here are all 18, so my 5 year head start has me talking like a grandma or something). Can we all just make a pact?! A pact to be true to ourselves, to not doubt those feelings that we get about other people. That we wont put ourselves in situations because we feel desperate or helpless. Can we just agree that its better to say 'No Thanks' than it is to have to say 'It just happened so fast!' Girls, it is OK to say no. You have the right to remain safe.