It gets better

Most everyone knows that I was once engaged once before and it didnt work out. What most people dont know is that I was told once in a blessing that it would be something that would give me the chance to help others in the same position. What a startling truth that has been in my life. That experience has shaped my life into something stronger, greater and more beautiful than it was before. It seems that because I knew the shadows I can now more clearly see the light. Over the last 3 years I have had the chance to help countless other women who have joined what I call the "Jilted Brides Club". It is astonishing to me how many of my friends, family, roommates and even total strangers who felt like they could confide in me, are all a part of this group of women who have had their hearts totally broken by these men that they loved. Some of them tried to work out whatever issue they had before them, and some, recognizing that their situation wouldnt change finally had the strength to leave, I respect these women SO much. Hearing their stories have strengthened my faith. Ive had many older women tell me their stories of lost love and it has reminded me that this is a club for select women, there is no discrimination on age, race or religion. Many of these older women have been such an example to me, which has kind of inspired this post. I want to tell any woman going through this right now, that it gets better. It hurts so much right now, and you feel like you will never be whole again, but you will. You may feel hurt, betrayed, confused...thats ok too. Its ok to grieve for the relationship you lost. People might tell you to 'just get over it already', but its not their pain, they can separate themselves from the situation whenever they want, you cant, so you take all the time that you need, and to heck with everyone else. People will tell you that you dodged a bullet, that you are lucky or that your ex was an idiot or whatever, while they may be right, its still going to hurt, thats ok too. You might feel like God has forgotten you, that karma is bitch slapping you in the face, like the universe is against you, but thats not true. God will NEVER leave you, turn to Him when there is no one else. You might feel pressured to start dating again, some people seem to think that fixes everything, but if you dont want to date, dont. Wait until you are ready, if that takes years, its ok (it sucks, but its ok, I PROMISE!) I can tell you that its hard. Its the hardest thing Ive ever done. I dont honestly think that I could do it again and be ok, but I can tell you that someday, life will be better. You might feel like you will never meet anyone, you might be terrified that someone will see how really afraid you are to trust again, that its not safe to let anyone that close. But thats not true at all. I used every tactic I could to keep people away, all the time being hurt that no one would even try to be that close, it sucked. it was a hard place to be. Being THAT scared all the time, but not really knowing what to do about it....its hard. BUT, all of it, it gets better! That hurt, it fades. The debilitating darkness, it turns into sun again. The fear, I wont lie, part of it will stay with you forever, but the RIGHT guy, a really really great guy, he's going to walk into your life one day, totally out of the blue and fix you, even though he didnt even know you were broken. Once day you will look back on this place that you are in now, and you will see just how the hand of God has guided you.  You will come through this. You might not be the same person you once were, but you will come out stronger and better if you let it. Let this work through you to make you better, not bitter. Forgive yourself first and then everyone else, especially your ex. Forgive him too. Dont beat yourself up. Trust Christ. And never, EVER forget, life gets hard sometimes, but it gets better!