Im 20 weeks pregnant, halfway done! And heres a letter I wish I would have got when I took that very first pregnancy test and stared and stared for hours (ok...more like a half hour) trying to figure out if there was really one line or two (I took my first test at 4 weeks and 3 days...haha that second line was WAY light!) But I digress. Once I realized I was indeed pregnant, I was just SO excited! Joe and I decided to keep it a secret, and we did, for a few days...til we realized that we were going to his parents house over the weekend and knew that we wouldnt be able to keep it quiet. We decided to tell the world that we were pregnant somewhere around the 5th week. People were really excited for us, but some people were a little more forthright in their decisions to tell us that we shouldnt have said anything so fast...which has really seemed to set a trend for this pregnancy, which, frankly, has left me far more depressed than anyone expecting their first child should ever have to feel. Here is what I wish people would have told me so far.
Hey girl!
That moment you have waited for your WHOLE life is here! You are going to be the BEST mom EVER! Here are some tidbits that might help you on this journey:
1.)People are going to give you a LOT of well meaning advice, and a HUGE chunk of that will be stuff that you will inwardly roll your eyes at. Just realize early that people mean well, but unless they are adopting your child, its none of their business what you do.
2.)People will tell you all kinds of remedies for anything that ails you. If it works for them, hallelujah! If it does not work for you or you dont feel comfortable doing it, thats totally ok! (and if you keep having the ailments, they will KEEP suggesting the same thing over and over and over...its annoying...but if they didnt care they wouldnt suggest it, right?!)
3.)You're going to feel some really awesome/really strange/really freaky things going on, and chances are, when you share them with someone, they will, in their excitement, go "Oh! Just wait until.....[insert random thing that their kid has already some here]!" and it will be kind of a deflating moment for you, because you are feeling something TOTALLY NEW! This is an entirely new world to you and its overwhelming and awesome and its ok to be a little miffed when your excitement/anxiety/fears/pain/whatever are totally glossed over by "Well, isnt that nifty that you just felt your baby move for the first time! Wait until they don a red cape and fly like my Billy did. THATS a special moment!" (Actually, its totally ok to be MORE than miffed about it, behavior like that is RUDE and those people deserve a ninja chop to the neck.)
4.)Its ok to be uncomfortable with people touching your belly uninvited. Im still working on how to address is, but it is totally OK to feel awkward with people trying somehow to feel your itty bitty fetus inside you. Mostly because it IS awkward. Society should address that.
5.)Prayers become more potent when you are hugging the toilet bowl for the fiftieth time this week. Even if you find yourself praying to the tiny little person in you to 'Just take it, its ONLY water and its GOOD for you!' If you find yourself monstrously sick, do whatever makes you feel better. If you are one of those people who never gets sick, consider yourself lucky! (and if you are one of those people that is sick the WHOLE time, its perfectly acceptable to be jealous of all those irritating people that tells you that they feel SUPERB while they are pregnant. They will be jealous later when they are losing 80 lbs and you dont have to lose anything because you didnt gain any weight the whole time.)
6.) You will encounter people that know EVERYTHING about what is best for your baby. They may be a veritable font of information regarding car seats, breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, vaccines, circumcision, vitamins, diapering, babywearing, co-sleeping, travel tips, bathtime, sleeptime, picking a name, when to feed your baby and what, things you should do or avoid during pregnancy, discipline for your future child, doctors vs. midwives, hospitals/home births/birthing centers, how to buy a crib, SIDS, childhood illnesses, conventional medicine vs. homeopathic treatments, ect. Just because they have Baby Encyclopedia Britannica in their head does NOT mean that they know what is best for YOUR baby. If you feel bad about something, dont do it. God did not bless you with this baby without the proper inspiration that you would need to take care of it. If Ms. or Mr. Britannica cant respect your parenting instincts enough to let you make the decisions that YOU need to make as a parent, then you need to tell them to butt out. Be polite. But firm. FIRM. You and your partner are the only ones who can make decisions for this child, dont let someone else get in on that when its not their place.
7.) You might gain a lot of weight. You might not gain any weight. You might gain the perfect amount of weight. People will comment on your weight a lot and its annoying. Accept it and only worry about your weight when your doctor does.
8.) Naming a baby is HARD! And just when you think you have the perfect name, someone will steal your name or someone close you you will hate it. Have a backup. And decide if you want to use the name if its stolen or loathed. Or you can own the name you love and people can just roll with it. Whatever you decide.
9.) When you wake up at three in the morning STARVING, eat something! Im pretty sure a midnight snack never killed anyone!
10.) Enjoy it :) Find the positives in all the really awesome stuff going on! Paint that nursery whatever color you want, eat that hot fudge sundae, tell people to jump off a cliff...haha whatever it is that you want to do. Go with it and welcome that little one with happy and open arms!
Congrats lady, and hang on...its a WILD ride!
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