Running in the dark, malaria and gospel principles.

Well, this has proven to be an interesting week. Ive decided that I need to start exercising more. (truth be told, I was looking in the mirror the other day and realized just how OUT of shape I am, and decided to resolve this issue right away. ((I'm horrifically paranoid of not being able to fit into my wedding dress when that time actually comes. This is why its a BAD idea to have a dress chilling in your closet with no date to use it in mind!)) So I decided Monday night that I was going to get up at 4 and go running. Four rolls around, I glare at my alarm as I shut it off, and roll over to go back to sleep. I wake up thoroughly disgusted with myself and reaffirm that I will go the next day. So running attempt day two rolls around with as much garish fanfare as the day before. I jerk away from this terrible dream at the sound of my alarm and decide not to go because I feel incredibly ill. This may be due to the dream I was having. *cue dream sequence*

I'm having a party with some of my closest friends, and a bunch of strangers. (Because those are the BEST parties, right? Right.) We are hanging out in the middle of the road by my house. (Again, that's obviously the BEST place for this party.) Anyway, there were some lights strung up over the road, and there is a girl sitting up on this wire watching everyone dance below her. I climb up there and ask what she is doing. She tells me that she heard I was having a party and that she wanted to come. I invite her down to the ground to join us, and then she looks at me, stunned and whispers "You really ARE clueless aren't you?! I cant come down, I'm infected with malaria. But because you were SO nice to me, I'm going to come down anyway." I try to stop her, but she leaps off the rigging down to the party below, I scramble down after her, trying to stop her from infecting everyone. She runs up to my two closest girl friends, Cat and Kristian, hugs them both soundly, and infects them, although they don't know it. Then she sees Kyle, she runs up and kisses him very soundly (she was a VERY emphatic girl!) then, laughing, she runs up to Wes and tries to kiss him, but she couldn't reach (one bonus to being 6'6 I guess). My friends Kathryn, Ashley and their husbands see me frantically trying to stop this girl, they try to help, but I usher them into these vintage cars and send them off. I'm trying to get everyone away before this devil girl kills everyone. She runs off into the darkness and I get everyone sent away with no one knowing what happened. Suddenly, I'm trying to help move cows at the same place the party was, and I'm not feeling well. The cows are all getting past me, and I don't even have the energy to care. My dad takes one look at me and tells me that I have malaria. I panic and run to the church where a YSA activity is going on. I first see Kyle, he looks TERRIBLE, and he comes up to me, shakes me violently and tells me that he is dying because of me, then he storms off, refusing to talk to me or even be near me. This is continued one by one as my closest friends come up and insist that I had infected them, that they are dying and that they will never forgive me for it. I walk outside, lay down on the grass and start to feel this disease kill me. (Apparently, the malaria in my dreams is transmitted by humans, is highly contagious and is non treatable, unlike real life.) Just as my body starts to ache with the disease, my alarm jerks me awake to go running.

I think you can understand why I went back to sleep.

That brings me to this morning, I go to bed early, I set my alarm, and when I prayed last night, I asked that there would be some motivating factor for me to go. When my alarm went off this morning, I shut it off and I'm laying there in the dark, trying to decide if I REALLY want to go running, when my brother Nate (the one that's usually a jerk) pops his head into my room. "Cass?!" *noncommittal mumble of acknowledgement* "I just wanted to know if you knew that you shut your alarm off?" "HUH?! Yeah, I know I shut my alarm off!" "Oh....Well, I was wondering if you were going to get up and go running like you wanted to....I just didn't want you to sleep through it in case you wanted to go.." (Who knew that my anti-Mormon brother would be an answer to my prayer?! WHOA!) I get up, get my running clothes on, untie my fun loving black lab (poor Lucy was SO confused as to what was going on!) and take off down the field. I'm going along when my headlamp clicks off. The entire way down, the headlamp would stay on maybe 90 seconds before clicking off. I get down to Spring Creek before I knew it. (I have NEVER, EVER run straight from my house to Spring Creek before without cramping, or having to stop and walk. It was SO cool to see that I could do it without either of those happening!) I hang out for about 30 seconds, looking at the stars glistening in the creek. I head back toward the house, I make it just past the gate when *CLICK* there goes the light again. Forget it! Ill just run in the dark, my feet are sure and I know the road, Ill be fine without the light! So I run, the yard light in the distance and the stars above as the only guide. I get to thinking about life in general, and how it correlates to my run. We all left the safety and security of our heavenly home, thrust somewhat into the dark, we have a light to see, but sometimes that light, our faith, requires that we take a step into the dark. Sometimes it requires that we take two or three steps. Life requires that we sometimes have to run from the things that are safe into an unknown, but there will be a time when we will be able to turn and see how far we have come, the accomplishments that we have made, and the ultimate destination (haha, this morning mine was a warm shower and another 45 minutes back in bed, which I accomplished!) I then began to think about the things that I had said to myself when the lamp clicked off again. My feet are sure, I know the way, and help is not far away if I need it. This is so true! Often I forget about my capabilities. I left my pre-mortal home with the needed skills required to make my journey, and the confidence to accomplish the things before me. (I'm sure I was more excited to come to earth than I was to run this morning though!) I was promised a companion that would help keep me safe, even though this companion would be hard to follow sometimes. (Really, running with a black dog in the dark is not easy!) But most importantly, I was promised a safe place to return to. I was promised that if I keep my eyes on the goal, focus on the path and do everything to the best of my abilities, that I would return, I might arrive cold, tired and sore, but I WILL arrive stronger, more capable and revitalized. I just need to trust my feet more, and keep my eyes on the lights of my Home, and I will not fall short.

I hope that you all learn to trust your feet as well :) Home just isn't the same without you.


(Also, one last side note, keep an eye out for those intrasubconsious viruses. Dream malaria is a dangerous thing! haha!)