Early resolution

I resolve to be happy. Every day. (yeah, I know thats sorta impossible...) but I miss being the carefree girl I used to be. I miss not worrying about my future. I miss living in today and seeing the beauty around me. I used to have hope in someday and live for today. I used to believe that the Lord would take care of everything so I wouldnt have to. I miss that. Ive been worrying so much about the things that I dont have, that I forget to see what I do have, and holy cow! do I have a LOT! (seriously...I have SO much, my cup literally runneth over.) Ive been bitter about the things in my life I couldnt control, and jealous over things that I wish I had, but I thought were out of my reach forever. But a good friend reminded me today to just let it go, that the way to get what I want in life is to enjoy life as it is, I need to forget the hurt and trust again, (this scared me to death, seriously....its my worst fear, but I need to do it. I want to do it....I dont know how, but I will find a way) Now, I may fall...and this is where you, as my friends and family come in. Please, please be patient with me, please help me see what I have. Please let me know that you still love me, and please be kind enough to tell me very bluntly that I need to get over myself. So, heres hoping the Lord softens my heart again, that I can learn to trust and that I can live in the here and now without worrying over the 'if' and 'when'. Heres hoping I become the me I used to be, the me I miss.